Sage-Femme, Doula, Enseignante et Conférencière

Vit en Afrique du Sud 

http://homebirth.org.za/ http://truemidwifery.com/

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PROJET B.E.T.T.A : Birth Experts Top Ten Advice

1. Do something every day that makes YOU feel happy/nurtured/loved

- this is different for everyone. Some people will go for a walk, or watch a movie, or spend time with friends, or take time alone. By doing something you love you are feeding your oxytocin receptors and bathing yourself and your baby in happiness and love.

2. Choose a caregiver you trust and who trusts YOU!: You should leave your appointments feeling light and bouyant and happy, loved and cared for. If you leave feeling frightened and unsure and insecure, you might want to consider changing caregivers.

3. Build your nest: get in touch with your inner mammal and build your nest. People like to joke about pregnant women nesting but if you feel a ferocious need to clean and change the curtains, do so…this is you tapping into your inner voice of what feels right and SAFE for your birth.

4. Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe: it’s okay to distance yourself from friends and family who tell scary stories or who are overly anxious or worried. You want to spend time with people who share positive stories of birth and who are there for you during this time.The same for birth. Only invite people who make you feel safe and who will not interfere with the process, observe you, become anxious - this will only inner the process.

5. Reach out if you are worried/frightened/anxious: Pregnancy is not easy. Confusing emotions and feelings can arise. Talk to someone you trust and who will listen without judgement. Cry if you need to.

6. Trust Your body. Trust Your Baby. Trust Birth: This is not always easy since we are not taught this often as young girls growing up but pregnancy is a wonderful opportunity to start to tune into your inner voice and into the voice of the baby to guide you.

7. Enjoy your pregnancy! Birth is not exam or marathon - you don’t need to study/train for it!

8. Give yourself time : When your baby is born, give yourself time to announce to the world and allow visitors into your space. This is a precious new being who is learning about the outside world for the first time. New smells. new sounds. New everything. You also, are a newborn mother. Unless someone is coming to help with dishes or laundry, bring food or look after children or walk the dog, they can wait until you and your baby have found your rhythm before coming to see you.

9. Don’t tell anyone you’re in labour except for those who need to know like your partner/midwife/doula/babysitter! People, especially family, can become over excited and worried if your labour does not progress at a pace they think is normal. Anxiety, even if not in the same room, can cause stress for the labouring mother and can prolong a labour. Best to keep it a secret and enjoy it and tell people when you are ready. At least an hour after birth…if not more! You would not let people know that you are about to have sex on your honeymoon and in the same way it is best not to have bystanders near or far for your birth.

10. Allow YOUR story to unfold: Nowadays we can access so many births stories and especially birth videos and so we raise our expectations of how we will behave/perform. Women plan for orgasmic/gentle/water/ecstatic births and do not allow the story that is within them to unfold. Write your own story - that is the beauty of this process…there is no right way. Only your way.